WENT BACK TO PORTLAND. MY CITY WAS GONE
WENT BACK TO PORTLAND. MY CITY WAS GONE
I love Portland, Oregon. I was born here – grew up here, then went to school, moved away and learned to paint. Today, I am in tears. I haven’t been back to Portland Oregon in over 15 years. I used to be up there all the time, hanging out around the Burnside Bridge at places like US Outdoor Store or on the hill at the US Snowboard Training Center with my cache of mountain climbing, biking, blading, ski patrolling & snowboarding pals, eating great veggie-burgers and spending appropriate amounts of time at McMenamin’s Pub including breakfasts at that amazing Ezekiel’s Wheel pancake shop down the block next to one of the pubs in SE.
I just watched a video of an expose-reporter video-cruising the downtown streets of Portland Oregon. The video is dubiously astonishing. If you haven’t seen Portland Oregon in 15 years as well, Portland will, for you too, blow your hair back. I could complain and rag on the current city’s government, as they are accountable for this tearfully-dilapidated city, and I will; however, rather than complain, I have at least one solution to the madness – say it with me; online paint night paint party or online paint parties if you’re a painting-fool like me. I host online paint night paint parties almost every day from my hub in Bend Oregon. It’s either online paint-day or online paint night. I am It's Just Paint. That’s what I do. I’ll point you to all of that later if you’re still interested. If you can't wait, just click any of these to book a party : It's Just Paint.
And now, I will turn this article over to the solution.
Anyone can complain about a situation like Portland Oregon, and most everyone does. Complaining about Portland Oregon in this press-release is, however, unavoidable. The subjects of those complaints expose a glaringly obvious pain to which there is at least one satisfying remedy offered here. Say it with me; online Paint Night Paint Parties. This solution is focused upon friends, family freedom, fun & fireball!
THE TOP 10 REASONS TO ATTEND AN ONLINE PAINT NIGHT PAINT PARTY
It's Just Paint
#1 Portland Oregon is top 3 of US Cities for Violent Crime
Be safe; stay home and play cards, watch TV or… say it with me; online Paint Night Paint Party!
Portland Oregon has one of the highest violent crimes rates this side of Detroit. That is not only sad, it’s terrifying. There seems to be at least 3 brand new levels of crime in addition to the heinous felonies we only seem to see in the media. Opportunistic villainy, homeless-drug-related crimes and crime-companies (teams of thieves). The Portland Oregon media doesn’t begin to cover even a small fraction of the number of criminal occurrences ranging from aggressive pan-handling, grifting, stealing, burglary, strong-arm robbery, purse snatching, smash & grab, gang burglaries to car-jackings, dining-table robberies, home invasion and random mayhem against people and property. This is not just something that happens every now and then in Portland Oregon; This is a horror-story which plays every single day and night in the city of Portland. Really hope that you believe in nightmares; because you’re in one if you live in and around or patronize downtown Portland Oregon. You may as well be living in Chicago or Detroit - where they don’t have a lot of online paint party opportunities. It's Just Paint.
There are, quite frankly, scores of solutions to what has become the “wild, wild west” in the city of Portland Oregon. Oregonians need to come together to take care of its most legitimately needy sons and daughters, i.e., the people who are leveraged to live on the street by no fault of their own. In the meantime, stay in, order in and have a fantastic, uproariously exhilarating online paint party. Online Paint Night Paint Parties or day and commemorative online paint parties are a total blast!
#2 Portland Oregon De-Funded its Police Force/911
Take the car out for the evening, get into a traffic accident, need 911, call, get “sorry, not available” – say it with me; Online Paint Night Paint Party!
Don’t worry. There is a growing awareness in the community which embraces positive change, and it will soon take hold in the downtown of Portland Oregon. While that’s simmering on the back-burner, consider this bleak reality. Under the cover of darkness, our once picaresque, cathedral, gem of the pacific north-west, night-time playground, transforms into Gotham City – for real. So even if you are among the crazy brave who keep on keepin’ on in perfect deference to the facts of Portland Oregon street-life as they are herein clearly detailed for you, make sure your cell-phone battery is charged, because you will be on hold with 911 for hours if you need a public service vehicle or the drivers of them to assist you with a situation upon which you did not count.
There is a simple solution to going out with friends in Gotham City. Say it with me; online Paint Night Paint Parties. Are you kidding me? Think about it. Everyone is together in one safe place. Everyone is both vaccinated and boostered, so wearing a mask is optional. You can hear, you can access a rest room or get a drink with the snap of your finger. All of your guests will enjoy the instructional painting, the stand-up comedy and the libations of an online Paint Night Paint Party. And if you end up “over the moon” or “over the bus” and can’t drive home – hell, you’re at a friend’s house, It's Just Paint.; sleep there.
JD Power & Associates would have found that online paint parties are good nutrition for a healthy society, regardless of the online paint party host, if they would ever bother to engage such a survey.
#3 Portland, Oregon has City Mask Mandates
Wearing a mask “sucks” if you’re trying to have a good time. Say it with me; online Paint Night Paint Parties!
Masks are for burglar’s and racoons. We get it! Stay six feet apart from everyone on the planet, keep a mask on your face as you share a friendly smile with a passing stranger in NE Portland. Wear a mask even if it makes it difficult for you to breath. The theoretical uptick in personal security is more than worth your raspatory inconvenience. Besides, you probably have one of those inhalers if you really need it; right? And don’t worry about all the make-up that cakes the inside your mask. You’ll get used to it. You got used to wearing pumps; right? It's Just Paint..
Have you been to restaurants lately in downtown Portland? Because, if you’re not able to show a vaccination record (card) at the front door, you may as well go’on out back ta’the kitch’n, an git yo’self some hot, cone-bread. If you do have proof of vaccination, then you and your crew are welcome to dine-in – with your masks. Wear a mask in between your bites of food, and a mask is perfectly convenient attire to have affixed to the front side of your head when you sneeze. Of course, you will still be wearing that mask after you sneeze.
Masks, as metaphorically iconic as they may be, are a nuisance – so much so that they can literally wreck an engagement – especially a brand new one. How can anyone laugh at your jokes if they can’t really understand what you’re saying? If you live in Portland Oregon, here is a solution to dining at restaurants in such uncomfortable situations: Order your favorite food from your favorite bar n grill or restaurant, and then go pick it up or have it delivered. Once you have food and drink secured at home, say it with me; online Paint Night Paint Party! It's Just Paint..
#4 Portland Oregon is overwhelmed by Omicron Virus
That virus is everywhere - except in your living room. Say it with me; online Paint Night Paint Parties!
In Portland Oregon, online Paint Night Paint Parties have become the rage. The reason is simple. You know everyone at the party. In most cases that is just people who you know well. Generally speaking, everyone at your house is safe from catching Omicron virus from someone who is not there. Those guarantees, however, do not apply to restaurant dining in Portland Oregon. The rest of your hilarious and fun online Paint Night Paint Party experience is virtual – i.e., with Zoom on the Internet. So far, Dr. Fauci has not disclosed evidence that people can catch Omicron or Covid or any biologically transmitted intruder over the internet. So, there is no need for you to be using dispensers of cold, creepy-feeling liquid to assure that your hands are clean or wear a mask or have your gathering outside or remain six feet apart, because no one at your home is sick, and everyone at your home has been vaccinated and has gotten their booster shot. This is why, more and more, the residents of Portland Oregon are opting to stay home in the evenings, and have a – that’s right – say it with me; online Paint Night Paint Party. It's Just Paint.
#5 Portland Oregon has an exploding Homeless Population
Nastiest-ness on sidewalks tracked back home – yuk! Say it with me; online Paint Night Paint Party!
There is a tremendous fear of caching the Covid or Omicron or whatever the virus-du-jour happens to be. If you are like most of the forced-to-be-hyper-conscious about this virus, then you have either been fully vaccinated or you are relying upon the antibodies that were generated from having survived Covid or you are among the fortunate few who have not contracted the virus at all. None of those three scenarios has anything to do with the old-school disease that is littered all over the streets and public facilities of Portland Oregon – including the suburbs. Hepatitis-A, shingles, diphtheria, dyspepsia, dysentery, herpes-simplex table for three, giardia, typhus, tuberculosis, and a whole litany of skin destroying bacteria that won’t seem to go away, are all a thousand times more prevalent on the city streets of Portland Oregon than are any of the Covid-19 viral mutations. It’s incredible that no one is paying attention to all these diseases – most of which had been under control by ongoing efforts of the CDC. Not anymore. Seriously; Who’s ever heard of tuberculosis anyway?
When most people go out into the community, they wear shoes. Unfortunately, those shoes are the transport vehicle from the bio-hazard streets of Portland Oregon to the floor mats in your car to your front door, or even worse – inside your home. Ever thought about that? Because now, in this scenario, you could have any of those life-scarring diseases or bacteria brought into your home, under the feet of your newborn baby – almost as if it were delivered by Uber eats.
If you want to help the homeless in Portland Oregon, pick a few individuals at random who are obviously destitute, living on the streets, and regularly give them a portion of your monthly income. As well, buy them clothes, outdoor weather wear and add them to your health insurance policy as if they were part of your own family. Tell your friends to do the same. Who knows; maybe it will trend. And if you’re the “what’s in it for me?” type of person, and you don’t find participating in a cleaner, healthier Portland inspirational, possibly it will be the legitimate Portland Oregon tax write-off that gets your juices (wallet) flowing. You can get all your closest friends together at one of the online Paint Night Paint Parties, and hash out the details over a rousing evening of fun, humor, painting images of a dog driving a car or something and who knows; maybe it will go viral (no pun intended). It's Just Paint.
#6 Portland Oregon is one of the filthiest industrialized Cities in America
No indoor dining? But it literally stinks outside – yuk! Say it with me; online Paint Night Paint Parties!
Yes. It’s true. It has been growing in Portland Oregon for quite some time, but to go from a half dozen or so homeless encampments to about fifty in less than two years is tantamount to having your city taken over by another country. The mayor of Portland Oregon has done nothing about it, because he has the functional IQ of a very small soap-dish. He is as corrupt as a computer file that won’t open. Even worse than that – the city stopped cleaning up the encampments due to pandemic concerns, and in so doing allowed the filth and disease and homelessness to expand like Jiffy-Pop on nearly every block of the city. That decision, alone is why there is a referenced relationship here between the mayor’s intellectual agility and an inanimate object. Seriously – what the hell do you suppose hazmat suits are for, DA! The principal resources in Portland Oregon are the people themselves. The city’s management needs to galvanize the public at large and bring them to the same book if not the same page regarding the trash and bio-filth that predominates the city of Portland Oregon. It is atrocious. It is not simple: Take care of the homeless and the trash will take care of itself.
It's nearly impossible to tolerate the smell of those giant oil containers across the river from SE. That smell has become a part of the normal olfactory distinction of SE Portland – and its always more pungent at night – it must be something about the cold air. You don’t have to worry about that smell when you attend or host an online Paint Night Paint Party. Painting at night or painting while the sun is up – either way, Portland Paint Night Paint Parties are too much fun! Air conditioning, Poo pourri, burning incense or the bouquet of roasting shrubs all smell amazing compared with the lingering pew that resides above the city of Portland SE. It's Just Paint.
#7 Portland Oregon has a Quasi-Travel Ban
Can’t leave the country. No one will let you in to theirs. Just ask Novak. Say it with me; Online Paint Night Paint Parties!
Traveling these days in the midst of pandemic uncertainty is hectic at best. Travel requirements, special ID, proof of vaccination, fees for bringing luggage with you, crowds, parking, people blaring their horns around the airport, the taste of Jet-A fuel lightly burning your nostrils, waiting in line, snotty-nosed unmasked (and probably unvaccinated) children, rude people, jerks who refuse to wear a mask and are standing right next to you, getting practically strip-searched or at least frisked at the x-ray check in, not allowed to drink enough alcohol to get properly smashed, can’t express any dissatisfaction with anything at all, super expensive over-night parking, car door dings, car thefts, dropped your mask, delayed flights, cancelled flights, possibly having to stay in a strange city in between flights at your own expense, because the airline furloughed employees who would not get vaccinated leaving the airline severely under-staffed or maybe just stuck in Denver because of a snow storm, are just a handful of things you do not have to worry about when you attend an online Paint Night Paint Parties in Portland Oregon. If you’re wondering whether or not traveling these days sounds like fun, just ask Novak Djokovic how much he enjoyed his resent trip to Sydney. It's Just Paint.
#8 Portland Oregon skiing, Hood & Bachelor, too expensive for groups
Ski day at Mt. Bachelor, $300.00 – by yourself – Say it with me; online Paint Night Paint Party!
The only thing that has changed in the Portland area ski industry in the last 30 years is the quality of the materials used in everything worn on the mountain and the price of lift-tickets. A group of 6 skiing for the day at either Mount Hood or Mount Bachelor will spend nearly $2,500 plus food. The “to-do” list for getting to the hill with everything you need for a day of skiing is a tale in and of itself. You can’t drink much during the day, because you are skiing. You can’t really drink much after skiing, because you have a three-hour drive back to Portland – maybe longer, because it’s both 25 degrees and snowing. By comparison, you could be right next to one of those gigantic Portland Oregon fire places, toasty as a marshmallow, in an online Paint Night Paint Party. All five of your friends are there. Each of them paid $40 to attend the online Paint Night Paint Party with you. And with the money you saved on gas alone, you bought dinner and drinks for everyone. If you’re 23 years old, an online paint party ought to sound like a snore. If you’re 43 years old, give it a think. Lower-back pain would much rather negotiate the fun around a fire place than around a cat-track. It's Just Paint
#9 Portland Oregon is USA leader in Stolen Catalytic Converters
Get back to your car, start it, start to drive it, and the car starts vibrating and making noise like a Sherman Tank. Someone ripped-off your car’s catalytic converter! – yuk! Say it with me; online Paint Night Paint Party.
Adding insult to injury is the realization that the cost of replacing your catalytic converter might be more that the actual value of your car. Let’s call that the “I thought I was covered” blues. It happens all the time in Portland Oregon. As the darkness settles in over the city, stores like “Midnight Auto Supply” open their doors for business. Because you don’t get into much trouble for stealing cars in Portland Oregon anymore, ripping-off cars and parts of cars has become a cottage industry in the City of Roses. In fact, 2021 was a bumper-crop for stolen catalytic converters in Portland. To the street-inhabitants of downtown Portland, catalytic converters have become more valuable than bitcoin to the investors who live in the equally affected suburbs. There are areas all over the city – especially around homeless encampments – where abandoned stolen and burnt-out cars and trucks are diurnal evidence that the scavenging of unattended vehicles occurs regularly – like five or ten times per night. This phenomenon is a social-portrait featuring the stark, ugly truth about the city of Portland. Getting your car stolen feels a tinsy-bit like getting raped, especially if the thief stole more than just your vehicle – like the things inside it.
One solution to the Russian Roulette marketing of Midnight Auto Supply, that does not require an act of congress is, say it with me; an online Paint Night Paint Party. If you have never attended an online Paint Night Paint Party, serendipity is coming to a theater near you – your living room. You don’t need to know any more about a paint-brush than you do about a tooth-brush or a dinner-fork. The It's Just Paint. avatar is called, Sarah. Sarah shows you exactly how to and what to, so that all you have to do is paint – and maybe drink as well. Laughter is non-stop at online Paint Night Paint Parties, and the best part is you actually end up with a very cool painting. A relic of the night’s activities.
It's Just Paint. is just the thing for an addition to a party or as the theme of the party itself. Online Paint Night Paint Parties are affordable even compared with going out to the movies – especially if you are unfortunate enough to be subjected to any of the last eight reasons to attend an online Paint Night Paint Party in Portland Oregon.
#10 Portland Oregon is America’s Most Depressed City
Can’t drink with all my friends at McMenamin’s Pub. Say it with me; online Paint Night Paint Party!
If this social-expose, solution-based, article is not enough to depress you, then it is likely that you, as with many, are already “comfortably numb”. Who could blame you? Depression is no joke. It is one of those afflictions that you can’t easily see with your eyes, and because it’s invisible, it is widely misunderstood, and in turn, because of that misunderstanding, it is difficult to identify and treat successfully.
For someone who hasn’t seen the city of Portland in over 15 years, it’s a shock to the system for sure, and it brings tears to your eyes. However, for someone who has been living in Portland for the last 15 years, it has been a lethargy of death by a thousand cuts. This Pink Floyd reality in the city of Portland is shared by so many that the recovery from such a mess seems nearly impossible. The city officials are responsible for allowing this mess to happen, but make no mistake, it will be Oregonians who bear all responsibility for the absent proliferation of this third-world looking city which was once the jewel of the whole left side of the United States. The future of Portland Oregon as a livable city lays in our collective Oregonian hands. Online
Paint Night Online Paint Parties are just one single method for helping to cope with the madness that has become everyday life in the city of Portland during the challenging time of the 21st century’s great pandemic. Working together, we can get Portland back to its civic-glory. It's Just Paint.
Join us, and say it with me; even if just by an inch, together we will help paint the future of Portland Oregon much like it used to be.
It's Just Paint. is an online party service company serving the entire United States, Japan, Canada, United Kingdom, Germany France and South Africa - so you should expect us to be easy to find online in the local cities of Beaverton, Tigard, Gresham, Oregon City, Milwaukie, Lake Oswego, Eugene, Grant's Pass, Medford, Ashland and Bend. If you are anywhere near Portland, Oregon, just Google, "onlpaint party near me." You'll find us at the top of the page. It's not rocket-science. It's Just Paint.